You have suffered a psychological life threatening event. Your heart, mind and body are struggling to integrate what has happened and what to do next.

If you have discovered an affair within the past few weeks, you are reeling from the crashing of your world. Your adrenaline is high and you cannot sleep.

You may be in fight mode, constantly on the attack. Or, you may be shut down, immobilized not knowing where to go or what to do.

In the aftermath of discovery, your body has taken over by going into crisis mode for self-protection. There is little ability to stop and think. You vacillate between desperately wanting your partner back or you kicking them out the door. You are in fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode- sometimes you experience more than one.

Once you have caught your breath, affair post traumatic stress sets in making it impossible to feel safe and causing you to be hypervigilant.

In the meantime, your partner is having their own experience making it harder to meet your needs.

It is possible to get through this, but you will do better if you understand what is happening and learn to navigate the emotions.

If you have discovered you were betrayed a long time ago or have left a betrayal wound unaddressed, it is possible to heal.

There is a known path to relationship safety and connection.

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